It’s that time of year again. Everyone is gearing up with their New Year's resolutions; the gyms are packed, and the diets are starting. But, it’s no secret that in a few weeks the crowds at the gym will wane, the diets will become unsustainable, and this year's resolutions become “I’ll try again next year”. Why is it year after year we set these goals, and they just won’t stick? Well, the reason may be that you’re setting the goals that you think you should be setting, rather than the ones that actually matter to you. The developers of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy have found that when we identify our values, our goals become more meaningful, and attainable. When we can find value in the journey to reaching our goals, we’re much more likely to stick to them.
Getting to Know Your Values
A value is something that one deems important in life, or a standard one holds themselves to. Our values may be shaped by our upbringing, culture, religion, or other life experiences. They may change over time and may even vary depending on the aspect of our life we are considering, such as professional versus leisure. If you’re pretty certain of what your values are, take some time to write them down, noting which are the most important. If you haven’t spent much time thinking about values before, it can be helpful to spend some time clarifying and getting to know what they might be. Need some help getting started? Use this 40 Values checklist and think about either a specific dimension of your life that you are wanting to set a goal in (like work, relationships, leisure, etc.), or you can think more generally and identify which of the values are very important, quite important, or not so important to you. Now that you’ve got a good understanding of your values, you’re ready to set those goals!
Why Values
Why do values matter when it comes to setting goals? When we set goals, if we don’t consider our values, it may be hard to fit the changes that we want to make into the type of life that is important to us. If we can consider our values when we set our goals, we can set ourselves up for more success. Let’s say I have the goal to lose weight. So, to achieve this goal I put myself on a strict diet and exercise plan. However, if I value things like flexibility, health, and fun, that strict diet and exercise plan is quickly going to feel arduous and unsustainable, because it doesn’t align with the things that are truly important to us! So instead, if we consider those values, we may choose to do things like working with a nutritionist to learn more about the food choices we make, gather a group of friends for a pick-up soccer game when we have some free time, or take that fitness class that we’ve always thought looked fun. I can still ultimately reach my goal of losing weight, but when I consider my values in how I will achieve that goal, it becomes much more attainable and aligned with the life that I want to live.
Setting Attainable Goals
When we think about setting our goals, along with considering our values, we want to take a few other things into consideration that can help make our goals more attainable. The acronym SMART can help us remember 5 important components to goal setting. First, we want to make our goals specific. If a goal is too broad, we are less likely to be successful. So instead of “I want to get in shape”, you might say “I want to exercise 3 times a week”, or “I want to walk everyday”, or “I want to have a more balanced diet”.
Next, we want to make our goal measurable in some way; this allows us to better keep track of and notice our progress. Thirdly, we want to make sure our goal is achievable, so that we are setting ourselves up for success, rather than failure. The “R” in SMART stands for relevant; this is where those values come in. If we are considering our values when making a goal, then they will be meaningful to us and therefore more relevant. Finally, we want to make sure that our goals are time-sensitive. If we don’t have a time frame on our goal it’s easy to say “I’ll start tomorrow”, whereas a time frame can keep us accountable and consistent in order to meet our deadline.
We hope that you’re feeling excited and motivated to set some values based goals! However, sometimes other barriers can get in our way of setting and reaching our goals, such as anxiety or depression. A therapist can help you to manage your anxiety and depression and get back on track with the goals that you want to achieve. At Mind and Body Therapeutic Connections, we would love to support you in reaching your goals this year. Give us a call and get scheduled for a consult so we can help you find the services that are right for you.